Tears and a Lost Love
by Eclarelover96
Summary: This is a one-shot based off of Cam's death. I felt like a vigil wasn't enough, a funeral was more better. So here it is! Warning it's sad and will make you cry like at least three times. It's still worth the read though, promise! Listen to Breathe Me by Sia when reading this. Leave a review and check out my other stories. There is more to come! :)


_**Author's Note: Hello guys. This is a one-shot on Cam's death. I thought that Degrassi did not give him the proper good-bye he needed. Sure a candle –lit vigil is fine, but it would make more sense to have a funeral for him. In this you will see other people's reaction to his sudden death. Even though it has been a month and nine days since Cam died I'm writing this. And I'm extremely sad that there is only one episode before the second part of Zombie is shown. This has been quite the season, my favorite by far. What are your thoughts on what will happen in Zombie part 2 Friday night? Read, review and enjoy! The song to listen to Breathe Me by Sia. This song literally makes me cry every time I listen to it. Until next time. (:**_

_**P.S. The season finale being moved to June/July has made me and most of the fandom mad. We have to wait so long for it! **_

_Campbell's Funeral _

_Maya's P.O.V._

_I had no feelings anymore; it was as if they left when Cam died. My heart and world were empty without him here and I just felt numb, like I had no purpose any longer. No matter how hard I tried pushing these thoughts away, it was no use. I was now known as the girlfriend of the psycho that killed himself. My parents and older sister Katie told me to hold my head up and I would be fine. When they said that I cringed because it was so similar to something Cam once told me. It was after we first met and he thought I was auditioning for Eli's production of Romeo and Jules. (While it was still Romeo and Juliet) He told me, "Keep your head high, stick on the ice, and you'll be fine." Smiling to myself at the memory I wiped the tears away and got out of bed. It was Monday morning, exactly a week since Cam's suicide. We had a candle lit vigil the day he was pronounced dead. Things didn't go over so well at the vigil. I was asked to speak there and I totally lost it, blaming Cam for his sickness and not help, and basically for leaving me. Of course I felt bad now for saying all of those things and wanted more than anything to go back to that time and say the words Cam deserved to be remembered by. But I couldn't go back in time, what's done is done. Cam was gone forever and I had to face it sooner or later. The rest of that week I went to school and practiced cello. Not focusing on anything else but that got me through those rough few days. And then on Friday I finally cracked. Everyone finally got to me and I spent the rest of my weekend wallowing away in puddles of tears. Tori and Tristan were talking to me once more and came over on Saturday and Sunday, taking shifts in comforting me as much as they could. I must have gone through 6 boxes of tissues, no joke. Lying on the couch most of the day I watched sappy love movies and ate all the ice-cream in the world. My eyes were puffy and red from all the crying. Man did I miss Cam. Holding me in his arms and cuddling up to his chest, those sweet and innocent kisses we shared…all gone. The moment I was told he died a part of me died with him and my world came crashing down. Dwelling in my thoughts I didn't pay much attention to the time. It was nearly 7:30, we would be late for school but I didn't want to go and face everyone. My parents insisted I take a day off from school for myself but refused wanting to pull off a strong front and not really willing to fall behind in school. Walking down the stairs I ate breakfast and couldn't decide what to wear. I settled on a basic pair of skinny jeans, black flats, and a spaghetti strap tank top with a jean jacket. 'There I look somewhat presentable.' I said to myself as I applied lip gloss and mascara to my lips and eyes. Walking down the stairs once more I grabbed my backpack and lunch. "Are you sure you don't want to stay home from school today sweetie?" Shaking my head no to my mom she brought me in for a hug. "Okay honey if you're sure. Just tell me if you need anything at all." Returning the hug I closed my eyes and put my head in the crook of my mom's neck. "You are so brave My. I love you so much, have a good day." Thanking her I said goodbye and made my way over to the car where Katie was waiting, she gave me a weak smile and drove us to school. Once getting there I went straight to my locker then French. Finding my seat in the very back away from everyone I put my head on my desk and stifled back tears. This was harder than I thought it would be. Sitting there in silence for a few more minutes I heard some kids whispering about Cam. Raising my head up I glared at my classmates with cold eyes as they exchanged sympathetic looks with me. Shaking it off I couldn't take it anymore. Standing up from my seat I ran out of the room crying and straight to Mr. Simpson's office. Knocking on his door he told me to come in. "Maya?" He asked questioningly. "Mr. Simpson we haven't had a funeral for Cam. The vigil was a disaster because of what I said and I'm sorry for that. I think that we should give him a proper service. Tonight maybe?" He eyed me but stood up from his chair and paced the room for a quick minute before speaking again. "Were you thinking a funeral?" nodding at him, he began rubbing his chin in thought. "That's a good idea. We weren't sure if it was okay with you but I was thinking about that for the last 2 days. I'm glad you came to me." I was happy with his eagerness and answer. "Thank you Mr. Simpson." I said. He patted me on the back and gave me an understanding look. "So would you like to part take in the planning for this? I could get some of the student council committee to help us. And you would have permission to miss classes for the day from me." I liked his ideas. "That sounds great. When are we going to let people know about the funeral?" Thinking for a brief moment he said, "I could make an announcement after this class is let out. First we will have to make a few phone calls." Getting right down to business I took a seat next to him and we spent the hour mapping out our ideas and all the necessary details. _

_Tori's P.O.V._

_A week… it had been a week since Cam's death. We had become good friends when he and Maya first started going out. He was her rock, anyone could see that. They were made for each other and I felt so badly for Maya. She had to deal with this on her own. We hadn't spoken in weeks and I had wanted my best friend back for a while now. The day that I heard about his death I spent most of it crying after attempting to have a word with Maya, but failing because she pushed me away, which was understandable. That night there was a vigil and Maya said some things… which I'm sure she didn't mean now. Many people were grieving in their own ways. There really was no right way to mourn… or at least that's what the guidance councilor told us. Doctor Lane had been assigned to our school the morning of the tragedy. Ever since then I went to her office everyday and just talked, letting it all out. She was really helping me deal with everything. I leaned my elbow on the arm rest and looked up at Tristan as we were in the waiting area of the main office. Even though we didn't say anything, his presence was comforting. A few minutes later Dr. Lane was done talking to another student and called me. "Come in Tori. I'm ready for you." patting me on the shoulder Tristan sat there waiting for his turn to go in. "How are you feeling today?" She asked with a friendly smile and gesturing me to sit down. "I'm better. I had another nightmare. You know about…" my voice trailed off and I looked her in the eyes not wanting to go on. "Yes I know. And I promise it will stop soon, the nightmares will become less frequent over time Tori. Is there anything else new?" Her pencil gently tapped against her clip board. "Umm yeah… Maya and I have been talking more. And we have both been there for each other. It's just so hard seeing her like that. Ever since Cam… she has been a mess. I can barely recognize my best friend." And that was my breaking point. I started crying hysterically just like I did every therapy session I had with her. But letting it out was good she told me and I believed her. Slowly every day I was coping and getting better, as well as understanding how sick Cam was. Although it would take time to get over his death, I would eventually learn how to deal with it on my own. I just hoped that Maya was doing as well I was. Soon my crying ceased and I talked for a while more until I got everything off my chest and it was Tristan's turn to go in. As I left the office, I wiped some tears away and saw Maya coming out of the principal's office. I ran over to her and gave her a hug. She seemed happy to see me and I just stood there with her for a few minutes, in a comfortable silence. This was the first time I had seen her smile all week. _

_Tristan's P.O.V._

_Boy what a rough week this was on all of us. Especially Maya. Upon learning the news I was devastated and forgot all about the reason Tori and I were mad at her. It didn't matter anymore, she needed us and we needed her just as much. Walking up to her that day I saw just how much this hit her. But what else would you expect; her boyfriend had just killed himself. Few words were exchanged. Much crying and hugging had taken over the atmosphere. Once I left her alone I turned the curb to my locker and slumped on the floor balling my eyes out. I was so sad on the inside and couldn't believe that one of my best friends was gone. Sure we were different, he liked hockey, and I liked plays. But it all balanced out. He was one of the few people that accepted me for who I really was at this school and he was gone forever, not going to come back. In the last month we had gotten really close and it hurt to think that he felt the need to end his own life from the pressure. Soon Tori joined me and we held each other just letting all the tears flow. It really was a loss, Cam's death. He was a great addition to Degrassi and… I just didn't know what to do or say to anyone. My brother and the team must have taken it the hardest aside from Maya. They knew Cam the best since he spent so much time with them on the ice. My parents were sympathetic and let my brother and I take some time off of school. Gladly I took the chance and just sat in bed with a box of tissues. Everyone at school urged me to talk but that was all I did. I just needed some room to breathe and time for myself. Tori had done the same as well as so many others. God, did I wish Maya would do the same, but she insisted upon staying in school which I didn't get. She acted so brave and wouldn't let herself cry in front of anyone, and I envied her for that. But I knew she was not okay, it was all an act. She just didn't want to let her walls come down. And sooner or later it would hit her. Hard. That weekend quickly passed and I decided I would try going to school since Tori was as well. I had to try to convince Maya to at least stay home for one day, she had begun to crack. At the vigil last week she had said some things and I was truly worried about her. She was beginning to scare me. Always acting so monotone and robotic around us, as if she was not affected at all. I was personally counting down the hours until she would show some form of emotion. Then I saw her shed a tear and felt somewhat relieved, the reality having finally hit her. Thinking about all of this I at first didn't hear when Dr. Lane called my name, but soon left my thoughts and rose out of my seat ready to talk. _

_Zig's P.O.V._

_Inside I felt numb… nothingness filled me and I didn't know what to do anymore. I blamed this all on myself and soon felt the guilt settle in the center of my heart and feelings. And it didn't feel good to be the last person who talked to Cam and basically watched him take his last steps alive. Out of anger I had told him that he was a psycho and to just stay out of Maya's life because he would never make her happy. But deep down I knew that it wasn't true. He was the reason she had a smile on her face for the first time since she came to Degrassi. What Cam and Maya had was more than puppy love, it was real love. Something I had secretly always wanted and had with Tori but I had to blow that. It was all because I kissed Maya which was a big mistake. Thinking I had feelings for her I acted upon the heat of the moment and didn't really reflect upon the consequences. Tori and I had broken up, and I lost all of my friends. Way to go Zig. I told myself. I was really disappointed in myself. How could I be so stupid on numerous occasions? Hurting so many people. I couldn't help but think that this was all my fault his death. Shaking that thought out of my head I had to remain somewhat positive. Yet there was nothing good from this situation. My black eye was still throbbing from the fight last week. If I had just left them alone and stayed away from Maya maybe Cam would still be alive. We could have gotten past this and all be friends again. He was my only true guy friend and one kiss ruined it all. I was sure now that I never really liked Maya it was a crush that I was over now and my love for Tori did not cease, it was still there. If only she would take me back… it was too late. Getting up off the floor I leaned against my locker and thought some more. Maybe I should go see the school councilor just like everyone was telling me. I headed in the direction of the main office and took a seat in the small waiting area. After about 10 minutes she came out and was saying soothing words to Tristan. Our eyes locked for a moment and I was about to get up to talk to him but he shook his head slightly and I slumped back in my seat. "May I help you?" The voice startled me to my very core. It was the councilor. Well here goes nothing. "Yeah, I'm Zig. I was hoping we could talk about… Cam's death. Everyone recommended you and I just- I need someone to talk to." I said stammering a little and she welcomed me in with a warm smile. I thought at first that this would be pointless but soon realized that it was the best thing I could have done to let go some of the pain inside. _

_Maya's P.O.V._

_The moment I came out of the office I wiped away a few stray tears and was attacked by Tori who gave me a long needed hug. I returned it and cried on her shoulder and stood there with her just standing in the same spot. "I just planned a funeral with Simpson for Cam." Once the words left my mouth she stared at me blankly, trying to register what I had just said. "Oh… that's good. When is the funeral going to be?" Biting my lip I said, "Tonight. Are you coming? I could really use some support." Tori looked into my eyes and replied almost instantly. "Of course, I wouldn't miss it for the world. He was one of my best friends too." Nodding my head I understood that she as well as everyone else was hurt by this, just not as much as me. I dated the guy for nearly 5 months and this was so sudden. And then the thoughts of tonight overtook my mind. I wasn't ready to say goodbye. I don't think I would ever be. He was my first love. "Do you think you could come over tonight before we go? I need some help to prepare a speech." Gladly agreeing Tori went off to her locker and I sat in the guidance office waiting for my appointment with Dr. Lane. It was helping to see her. My nerves were focused on tonight and I was beyond nervous about this speech I had to give in the coming ours. And seeing Cam's body for the first time for a little over a week. That was what really scared me. Him lying there emotionless and not being able to do anything to bring him back, watching and feeling helpless. _

_Later That Night…_

_Tori came over and helped me get ready. I had set out a black shirt, black pants, black shoes, black accessories, and dark make-up. Everything about it screamed sadness and loneliness. And that was exactly how I felt, abandoned to deal with this on my own. Knowing I had people to help me out, they just didn't really understand my pain. Sure they were all grieving, but it was different from how I felt. I was Cam's first and only girlfriend and he left me. All alone in the world. A knock on the door startled me and I opened it, only to reveal a teary eyed Tori. "Hey." She said in a low raspy voice. "Hi." I mirrored back and turned to my bed flopping down on it. Taking deep breathes I suddenly got up. "I don't think I can do this Tori. I'm not ready to say goodbye to Cam. I never will be." Her face held this look of shock and pure sadness. She was at a loss for words just like me. "You have to do this Maya. Everyone is expecting you to go there, and I thought you said you wanted a do over from the vigil. Now is your chance, are you going to take it?" Those words rang in my ears. She was right I was getting a second chance to prove myself to everyone and to Cam. I believed he was in heaven watching me. I had to do this for him. After another hour we all got in the car and drove to the funeral home. Pretty flowers were draped all over and peaceful music began playing. The church was empty and I was the first one in there. Everyone decided to give me a moment alone to compose myself and to let the reality of the situation set in. I slowly walked down the aisles and closer to the open casket. All around it flowers and ribbons were sewn into the leather material. It truly was a beautiful set up; I knew he would have loved it. And there I was, nearly at the heart of the church when I got a glimpse of Cam. Quickly turning away I tried fighting back tears. They came pouring out of my eyes and I grabbed a tissue. After a good minute I turned back around and took another few steps until I was at the foot of the coffin. Cam looked so peaceful. Like he was in a deep sleep but would never wake up. He was dressed up nicely and his arms over his chest, I soon noticed that he was rather pale but shook it off, he was still the same guy I had fallen in love with so many months ago. I fell to my knees and I was just about ready to get in the coffin with him. I stood up and was bent over, stroking Cam's hair. God I missed him. Seriously considering getting in there with him I had one foot in the casket when someone grabbed me by the waist. Not caring who it was I hit them hoping they would let me go. I began screaming at the top of my lungs. "NO, LET ME GO! PUT ME DOWN NOW! CAM! CAM! I NEED TO GET TO CAM!" I said but soon gave up and cried all the more. "I NEED TO BE WITH CAM. GO AWAY… ALL OF YOU!" I looked back to see everyone was starting to enter the church. Tori ran to me and held me in her arms while Katie stepped back and watched as I fell apart in front of everyone. It took 4 people to carry me to my seat and away from Cam. My mom rushed over to me and I ran into her arms and she rocked me back and forth. "Sh sh… it's okay baby. It's all going to be okay." Finally giving in to her words I calmed down for the time being. _

_Dallas's & Alli's P.O.V._

_Dallas: My life changed forever when my team and I were called to the office. We were in the gym participating in spirit week and were summoned. As soon as we got in I knew something was deeply wrong. Simpson had puffy red eyes and was talking to a women I didn't know, yet. "Hello boys, take a seat." Filing in one by one we sat down and waited for what he was going to say. "I'm very sorry to say that Campbell Saunders is dead." I couldn't believe it. Did I hear him right? "Mr. Simpson, I saw Cam the other day. He was fine, how can you be sure it was him?" My mind drew a blank and I slowly began crying not caring who saw. The team was shocked and speechless, much like me. "No we are certain it was him. A student, Eli Goldsworthy found him dead this morning in the greenhouse. He committed suicide sometime last night." When those words left his mouth anger filled inside. "Dr. Lane has been assigned to our school as of this morning. If any of you want to talk to me or her we are here for all of you. And you are more than welcome to take the day off." He tried his best to comfort us but I grabbed my bag and left the room. I ran over to Alli and practically blamed this all on her. But it was not her fault, if anything it was mine for pushing Cam too hard. He was gone because of me. I took a trashcan and smashed the trophy display. Glass shattered everywhere but I didn't care. I walked over it and took off. Regretting my actions more than ever I decided to go the funeral. It was a week after Cam's death. The moment I walked in I heard yelling and screaming. Rushing in I saw Maya breaking down crying near the casket. My heart broke to see her like this. She had loved Cam and was the most phased by this. She did not deserve all this pain. I sat in my seat and took deep breathes, looking down at my suit and then back up at Alli who came with me here. Today was the day I would say goodbye to Campbell Saunders forever. He was the best hockey player on the team and one of my best friends. This was going to be hard. And I would be haunted by this guilt for the rest of my life._

_Alli: I cried and cried for the loss. Cam was one of my best students that I tutored. We had become friends and he came to me a few times with his problems and I did my best to help him out. I knew he had some sickness and could have done something to prevent this. The second to last day of his life he was in such a bad place. I should have been able to tell something was deeply wrong. He was crying and shoved a heavy desk into the wall. Trying my best to comfort him… I guess it was no use. And when Dallas accused me of everything I actually thought he was right until I realized it was really no one's fault. We all blamed ourselves. But I felt really bad for Maya, Cam's girlfriend. She was a poor niner and I couldn't even begin to imagine the pain she was going through. The pain for me had resurfaced as well as the tears as soon as we had stepped into the church. And when I saw Maya… my whole world came to a halt. She looked so broken and lost. Getting up from my seat in the back rows I went up to her and said soothing words and cried with her. _

_Eli's P.O.V._

_It had happened again. I had seen a dead body for the second time in my life, and it was not an easy thing to forget exactly. Everyone was hammering me for details and talking about it, but I was done doing that. I speak about it enough with my therapist and now Clare was going a little too far. I needed a clean break from all the talk about Cam. Some time to deal with it on my own. A few days after the suicide I felt ready to go to the scene where I discovered his dead body. There Clare found me and I told her I needed a break, not regretting my choice much. She was pushing me to talk about it more than I wanted to and… it was like the same thing with Julia. Not talking about it so much helped in a way. Once I heard about the funeral at school, I decided not to go to my appointment with my therapist that night, but instead to the memorial service. It would be a good way for me to get some closure and move on with my life. Although I would never forget this, I couldn't keep dwelling in the past. After finding a seat in the silent church I looked around and saw many familiar faces. Clare was there too but I shook my head at her when she came in my direction to sit with me. During the part where we were asked to go up and talk about Cam I felt brave enough to go up talk about how it felt finding him. Even though we didn't really know each other it was still challenging to speak in front of many people that had gotten to really know him at his time at Degrassi, or those we knew him his entire life. Many were touched by my little speech… well more of a rant, and had me crying by the end of it._

_Maya's P.O.V._

_My mom, Katie, and Tori all sat on either side of me. I was glad to be surrounded by the people I loved and Cam too. Everyone was crying as expected and the service was going to start soon. Rehearsing my little speech in my head I was soon interrupted by a tall woman with sandy light brown hair, she had big brown eyes and was followed by someone who looked to be her husband and three kids, two boys and a girl. Suddenly realization hit me… this was Cam's family. They had come all this way for his funeral. "Hello, are you Maya?" Cam's mother spoke up. I had never met her in person but had talked with her many times over the phone and video chat, seeing her in pictures as well. "Yes that's me. Are you Mrs. Saunders?" Standing up I walked over to me and she gave me a big hug. "It's so nice to finally meet you Maya. I wish it was under better circumstances though." She was crying into my shoulder and I was doing the same. "Cam really loved you guys. He always talked about you and missed you every day. You all meant the world to him and I'm sure if he were here with us today he would be so excited to see you." His mother brought me closer in her arms. "Thank you for your kind words sweet heart. We know just how much he loved you too… you were all he talked about with us over the phone." Once she let me go we exchanged smiles and talked for a few more minutes until the priest came out of a room in the back. He started off with a sermon and prayer, and then began talking about Cam for a bit. Soon he stepped aside and let anyone come up to tell a story about Cam. Nearly everyone went up. The first to go up was the Ice Hounds, each and every one of them one by one. First it was Dallas telling about their budding friendship and just how amazing Cam was in hockey, as well as a good friend. Owen and Luke said similar things, sharing funny stories about practices and times they spent with Cam. Next Tori, Tristan, and Zig, all his best friends went up. Talking about all those fun nights we spent together, getting to know Cam, and what he meant to them. Many said how they loved and would miss him. Everyone cried and laughed when a funny time was shared or a simple memory. Katie, and my parents each said a few kind words about him and how he was such a good boy and great boyfriend to me. Eli Goldsworthy, went up and talked about how it felt to find Cam and everyone was especially sad about this. Even the students who didn't really know him went up. Some of his relatives spoke, telling of the times they had back home and just how amazing he was at hockey and how it was his life dream and how he was watching all of us from Heaven. I knew my turn was coming up soon. My nerves were kicking in and I felt sick to my stomach. But I kept it all together. Alli, Cam's tutor and friend talked about his struggles in school but how dedicated he was to doing well and thriving in hockey. His improvements and last days of life were talked about as well. She broke down crying and I went up to hug her and help her finish. Soon Cam's family went up, his siblings crying and telling about how annoying he was but how they missed and loved him. His dad was third to last. Saying how much he had faith in his son and grieved for his little boy. But when his mom went up and talked for about 10 minutes and cried into her husband's shoulder, it was the most touching thing ever. She talked about everything from day one. When she finally couldn't go on anymore she was walked back to her seat and it was my turn. Tori and Katie took me up since by legs felt like jell-o. All the eyes were looking back at me and I turned around taking a moment to myself until I felt ready. Trying to read the words off my papers I just couldn't do it. I covered my hand with my mouth and fell to my knees, crying at all the memories we had. It was unfair, why couldn't they have taken me instead? My sister came up and took the paper from me. "I can do it for you… if you can't its okay Maya. We all know how much this is hurting you. It's okay to step down." Katie whispered in my ear. "No it's okay I can do it, please, I promise. I have to do this Katie." Looking pleadingly in her eyes she finally gave in. "Okay but if you need me I'll be right down there." She said and went back to her seat. I glanced down at the paper in my hands and ripped it to shreds. Some were shocked at my sudden action. Five people stood up and were going to come up to me but I shook my head signaling for them to take their seats. "I ripped the speech because it doesn't feel right talking about Cam from a measly paper. This needs to come from my heart." I said and locked eyes with Cam's crying mother, and I began my speech. "Hello everyone, thank you for coming out today. I think Campbell would have really loved this and seeing all of you. I really miss him, and in the time we got to spend together I really got to know him. We were friends for a while and then it blossomed into more, he was my first boyfriend. The sweetest, smartest, funniest hockey player you will ever meet. He was always living life to the fullest and enjoying every minute of it. His passion for hockey was admirable and he was always there for me when I needed him. We always had the best time on our dates, and he always said I was beautiful even when I thought differently. He changed me, for the better. I was once a shy band geek who wouldn't talk to anyone and he really helped me come out of my shell and become the person I am today. He had faith in me when no one else did, he cared when no one else knew something was wrong, he could read me like a book and I got to know him the same way too. We had such a good relationship and strong connection, I always felt safe and like I could be myself around him. My insecurities had me doubting that I would ever find a boyfriend, but the moment he came to Degrassi everything changed. My confidence grew and I really began to believe in myself, taking more risks and just learning to have fun. He loved every little thing about me and was the first person to really take an interest in me. There are so many more things I could say about him, it could take all day." I said taking a pause and some people chuckled at me. This was easier than memorizing some stupid speech; I was speaking from my heart and soul. "From the moment we met I knew he was a lifelong friend and I trust him with everything I have. I fell in love with him and he said those three little words that made my day. He always knew how to make me feel loved. I never once felt unappreciated when he was around and boy did he drive me crazy sometimes. If we got into fights he still apologized even if I was the wrong one, he was a true gentleman and treated me so well. Sometimes I thought he was too good for me, but turns out we were perfect for each other. He always gave me the cutest gifts and put up with me when I wanted to watch those cheesy love movies. But he told me we were a better fairytale then any movie, and I believed him and still do to this day. He helped me realize what life is really about, and I would do anything to bring him back. I love Cam with all my heart and want him back more than anything. Heck, I wish it was me in there instead of him; he deserved to live more than I do. He had so much potential and a great life ahead of him; he didn't get to fulfill it though. I just wish he would have come to me. I could have helped him, like many of you here today. I feel responsible for his death, I should have done more. Maybe if I had done things differently, he would still be here." My tears began flowing again and I stood there for a moment before continuing. "Campbell was my rock. The person I could go to and tell him anything and everything. We were inseparable and I think anyone could see that. I really got to know the hockey team through him and so many other great people out here. His family was so good to him and he always talked about you guys. He loved and missed you every minute of every day. I really want to thank you for coming out today. And I really want to thank Cam for coming into my life and helping me through everything he did. I will be forever grateful to him and for Mike Dallas who introduced us. He has done so much and he will never know just how much I love him and I promise I will never ever forget him. He has been on my mind 24/7 and I could never love someone as much as I love him. Thank you Cam for everything, you were such a great person that didn't deserve to die so young. You will be forever missed and never forgotten by me. I can't wait to join you in Heaven someday Cam." Looking up at the ceiling I finished off with, "I know you will be watching over us, I promise not to let you down, I will do my best in life." Wiping away some tears with a tissue I walked past his casket slowly and walked towards him. Cupping his face in my hands I bent down and kissed him for the last time ever. His lips were cold but I still felt the spark there, it was like he was still there with us. Looking at him one last time I slowly began walking away from the love of my life. That was the last time I could hug him, kiss him, look at him, or even be in his presence. "I love you Cam and I always will, and that's a promise." I said and walked back to my seat. By the end of that everyone in the church, even the priest was crying. I got so many kind words and hugs. "Good job sweetheart. I love you so much, my brave little girl." Said my mother. Katie hugged me for like five minutes and didn't let go, but I didn't mind it. Tori and Tris squeezed my hand and cried with me. This truly was a beautiful ceremony. Now to face the burial. "Okay everyone, we are going to go to the cemetery shortly so you can all take your time, just be there in half an hour. And if you have anything to drop into Cam's grave you may do so, just make sure it is not a big item. Thank you to all of those that spoke today it was beautiful." With that the priest walked into the room he first came from. "You okay?" My friends asked. I answered truthfully. "No, but I will be someday." And I would hold myself to that. Everyone came up to me and thanked me for my speech and for organizing such a great memorial service. I watched as some people closed down the casket and began carrying it out the front doors and into a car. "You ready to go sweetie?" nodding my head I said, "Yeah let's go, don't want to keep everyone waiting. Soon everyone filed out of the church and went into their cars and to the cemetery where Cam was to be buried. _

_At The Cemetery… _

_After the silent car ride we were finally at the cemetery and parked close to the burial ground. Stepping outside I breathed in the fresh air and made my way over to my close friends and family. We waited for a few minutes so that more people would arrive. I walked around the freshly mown lawn and chatted with a few people until the attention was drawn to the hole dug in the ground. The casket containing Cam was lying on the ground and I stepped as closely to it as I could. A large circle formed around the freshly dug hole and the tombstone was polished. "If anyone has any last few words to say about Cam now would be the time." Said the priest. "You may step forward, share your words, and put your item in once we lower the casket." I watched in sheer horror and sadness as they lowered his body into the ground. All of this becoming even more real. I lunged forward and tried jumping in with him but was yet again stopped by a pair of arms. I was held until I was calm and cried into my best friend's shoulder so much. I started to feel dizzy but didn't faint; this was too much of an important moment to pass out. Everyone dropped in their item and said a quick, "I love you," or "I'll miss you, you were a good person." And then a goodbye. My turn was coming soon. I came forward and said, "I could never really say goodbye to you Cam, it hurts too much. I love you and always will like I said, watch over me." And then I gently kneeled down and put a picture of us in the hole, right near his heart. Taking my spot again I watched as others put things in. By the time the last person was reached the grave was pretty full with things. Inside were Cam's jersey from hockey, his stick, some baby clothes of his, toys and games he played with as a kid, many many pictures, other hockey related things, and just items that meant something to him and the person that put it in there. The people who worked in the graveyard grabbed shovels and began putting dirt into the grave and his casket could no longer be seen. When they were done they patted the ground and many flowers were laid on and around the gravestone. People were crying and began leaving one by one. They gave me final hugs and words of sympathy. It was just soon my family, Cam's family and my three best friends. The hockey team was in the parking lot on their way home. Everyone was being so kind to be and I was grateful for it all. "I'll see you tomorrow Maya, stay strong." Said my three friends and they soon went to wait in the car. Cam's mom and I hugged once more and she said, "Maya darling, you were great with your speech. I can easily tell you that Cam loved you more than anything and I can see why he chose you as his girlfriend out of all the other girls in the world. I can never fully thank you for being such a good friend and girlfriend to him. We will be staying in town for the next month, so if you ever need anything, just give me or any of us a call. Please." She said and I hugged her for a good 10 minutes. She and her family left before stopping at Cam's brave crying and then said their goodbyes to him and then us, leaving just my parents, Katie and I. "Baby you okay?" My mom asked. "I want to stay longer mom. You guys can go." She and my dad looked unsure. "Are you positive? We could stay as long as you want to." I nodded my head. "Yeah, I'll be fine. Katie will be here." Looking at her she agreed. "I can stay. You guys go." They stayed with us for a few more minutes then went on home. Everyone was coming to our house to have a big dinner. We would sure get a lot of food for the next few months. "Hey kiddo. How you holding up?" my sister asked once we were alone. "I'm fine." I said but we both knew I wasn't. "I can go if you want me to." Shaking my head I ran into her arms and we both cried, after pulling away I said. "I'm going to stay with Cam tonight. You should get going." Before she could protest I insisted and she agreed. "Okay fine, I'll see you at home." Nodding I went back to Cam and laid on the grass next to him, wrapping my arms around his tombstone, not wanting to let go. This was the closest I could be to him now, other than pictures and memories. It just wasn't enough for me. I talked for hours on end and the wind picked up and I began shivering but I didn't care, as long as I was with him. Darkness took over the bright sky and I was still on the ground. As I was drifting to sleep I felt someone wrap a jacket around me and I snuggled into it, getting a brief glimpse of Katie, who came back and stayed with me there that night, even though she hated cemeteries. I loved her for that. We fell asleep together and stayed there until noon that day. Finally I took a day off of school just like my friends had hoped all along. I never forgot Cam. Every day I visited his grave with new flowers and he was on my mind. Over the years it got easier but the pain was still there. My love for him never ceased, if anything it got stronger and he was in my heart. My love story with him may not be the happiest one, but it sure is real, and I don't regret not ever dating another man again, no one could ever replace Campbell Saunders, my first love, and the boy who had my heart. _

_The End_

_**Author's Note: Hey readers. This may not exactly have been a happy one-shot. It's not meant to be it's a funeral… so review and be sure to check out my other fanfics. For those of you who read Trouble, a double chapter will be posted as well as one or two other one-shots today. I'm dedicating my day to writing for you guys; it's always a pleasure to write. A lot of new things are coming your way. I have so many ideas on fanfics for you guys that will be posted in April and May, just want to get my other stories done. If you're interested or have any ideas be sure to message me! Sorry for any mistakes in this it took me like 5 hours to .**_

_**P.S. I cried when writing this. Listen to that song it really goes with this! I tried doing as many people's P.O.V.'s as I could, and I would have done more but it would be too long and just wanted to pick the people closest to Cam and who were most affected. **_


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